I'm working out some kinks in my life right now. I try to rely on God's word to live like a Christian would live and I have been feeling so blessed and comforted by his word so much lately...except in one area of my life and Dan is not scared to tell me that I have some bitterness in my heart that needs to come out. It's really just regarding 1 thing in my life but for some reason I have been able to let go of anger and bitterness for every other thing under the sun except this one thing. I am so thankful I have a husband who is willing to tell me truthfully and slightly harshly :) that this is something that needs to go now. I told him he was lucky to have a wife who would thank him for such a rebuke. And I am truly thankful that he would tell me when he sees something that I may not.

So this blog is just my thoughts and study tonight on bitterness and how to extract that right out of my life :D

Job 3: Job is bitter at this point. He isn't bitter until this time and then he says "it would have been better if I had not been born." and "why is light given to those in misery, and life to the bitter in soul who long for death but it never comes?"

Job in general is quite bitter for a good portion of the book until Elihu whacks him and the other guys on the head with the wisdom of God. I think Dan was my Elihu today; "Never mind justifying your bitterness, you're MY wife and you won't hold onto this any more."

Many times Bitter is used is referring to "weeping bitter tears". Almost half the time. It's as if weeping bitterly is a good thing but I don't think that's quite what I'm doing.

Acts 8:14-24. Peter asks the holy spirit to come upon the new believers and the man Simon, offered money to have the ability to do the same. Peter said something like this "you poor soul, you think you can buy the holy spirit. your heart is not right with God and you will have no part if you keep it up. Repent. I see that you are in the gall of bitterness and in the bond of iniquity." I don't want to live in the gall of bitterness; look how it's sounding for Simon. Peter says he will have no part unless he stops and asks to be forgiven.

Eph 4:25 Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you^(BI) speak the truth with his neighbor, for^(BJ) we are members one of another. ^26(BK) Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, ²⁷and^(BL) give no opportunity to the devil. ²⁸Let the thief no longer steal, but rather^(BM) let him labor,^(BN) doing honest work with his own hands, so^(BO)that he may have something to share with anyone in need. ^29(BP) Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give^(BQ) grace to those who hear. ³⁰And^(BR) do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God,^(BS) by whom you were sealed for the day of^(BT) redemption. ^31(BU) Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. ^32(BV) Be kind to one another, tenderhearted,^(BW) forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Who knows this to be true? I DO! Do I do it? no. I do the things I don't want to do and I don't do the things I do want to do. The word says it right there...DON'T BE BITTER AMY. So why do I continue living in it? Do I not know that I have been baptized into Christ which means I have been baptized into his death and was raised therefore, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, so that I too, might walk in newness of life??? (Romans 6:1) I know all of this but my question still is, why do I keep doing it? I think we could all ask that question. We know what we are doing is wrong when we are doing it so why is it so hard? Because the way to salvation is hard! it's not the big fat and wide road that's heavily trod on. It's the tiny, skinny, measly trail that you can barely squeeze yourself through on.

So my conclusion for tonight is the exact same thing I tell my kids. I choose to make the decision to sin. I have the power of Christ in me not too. Choose the right thing.

I just have to write this down. Dan just got home and this is what he said. "Ephesians 4 is what you have to read." All I have to say is thank you Jesus for showing me what to read tonight. I had already studied that before he said anything.