I look forward to being an older woman. Getting old has never frightened me or gotten me down. It means that with every year that passes more opportunity arises for me to mentor a younger woman. Titus 2:3-5 outlines the joy I look forward to: Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. At this point I don't have much I can offer a younger married woman with children since I'm in the same boat with many little children and not many big ones. But what I can say is at this time of life and many years preceding this point, an older woman is and can always be appreciated.
In this individualistic society we live in today I believe there may be a lack of courage in this area. I say this only because when ever this has come up in conversation I have with older woman the reply is almost always "I'm not sure how to start." or "I don't know if they would appreciate my advice." or "I wouldn't want to offend someone if they don't wish to hear my advice." or, the biggest one is "I have nothing of worth to share. I have made so many mistakes." Perhaps the best way to teach us is through your mistakes.
Conversely, I have discussed the same topic with younger women wondering if they have or would like a mentor. Older women who are reading this, please read this part very carefully: Every young Christian woman I speak to about this has the very same longing as I do: to be brought up in the faith and desire to learn better how to love their husbands and children.
Over the years I have had women speak into my life. There have been times of much fruit given to me personally by other women and I have also experience great famine in that way as well. But I can tell you for every moment I have of an older, wiser woman in the faith is such a cherished blessing to me. I'm not sure you older women know just how much your life experience, good or bad, are worth. I want you all to know that you are such a gift to us younger women. But we need you to raise us up! We need to learn better how to love our husbands. We need to learn how to love our children more. If there is someone in the stage of life preceding yours in your reach, you are able to fulfill this great calling.
Help ladies. I speak for all the ladies who say any of these words:
Why doesn't my husband understand?
I seem to lack joy throughout the day.
We're fighting so much.
Why doesn't my husband want to spend more time with me?
Why can't I just teach my child to be ______?
I've tried a million things and they still don't get along?
They whine, they scream, they don't listen etc. etc.
I love you all so very dearly my older friends. I hope this message was a refreshing blessing and if you are a younger women, feel free to comment in agreement :)
I agree that many of the older women I know don't give themselves enough credit. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that they're told their thinking and philosophies are outdated. While that may be true of some of those thoughts and philosophies, their experiences are timeless.
ReplyDeleteI would also like to point out that it's not just our husbands and children we need to learn to love better, it's the rest of the people we come into contact with, and therefore single women have a lot to offer in the way of guidance as well.
Agreed! I think the advice of someone single is so vital as well because you would see things from a different perspective.
DeleteOne of the great hings about technology today is that we can reach out to each other for mentoring and to mentor. We should take advantage of the tool. It's a great gift in dealing with our long distance (even an hour away) relationships.
ReplyDeleteI think another reason for hesitation may be that we don't want to bother someone, or think they are so busy. We are all busy but we can all stop when there is a need to be met and I think being asked is a great compliment as well as a great responsibility. Mentoring speaks to the eternal which is where our focus should be. Most of the "busy" is temporal and can often (not always but most often) be put on hold. Let's invest in each other and build our families in and for the Lord, making our homes places that foster spiritual growth and worship to the praise of His glory and grace.
If only women in the church would make the time for younger women instead of themselves and their groups. For years,Ive asked older women, Ive prayed for the Lord to bring someone...nothing. Always too busy. Lord willing even if no one ever comes along side me, I will be able yo come along side someone else.
ReplyDeleteIt's certainly a generalization that no older woman seeks out younger women anymore but you have the right desire. To want to be mentored is such a good thing. And you take it to the next level; you will do what you missed out on. What a great attitude. It can be lonely to not be guided along but also have the courage to ask an older woman to walk alongside you. Just like my post said, sometimes older women are nervous about the idea and need to be asked for their wisdom and insight. Sometimes (very often times) they don't feel worthy enough to share their failures. They feel as though they have nothing to share so it is good for us younger women to encourage them that yes they do have such a wealth of knowledge to share. I challenge you to ask someone specifically to hold you accountable and to mentor you in your walk with God.
DeleteThis is true Amy,as a younger women,I did have a older lady who walked beside me in so many ways,teaching me about life as a mom and a wife all the while loving me as a friend and as a daughter ,she is now 87 years old and I am 62 .I do treasure the company of younger ladies not only to come beside them but also to learn to love them as sisters in Christ and adore their family,to help in any way in the needs of encouragement and other things.There are many women who don't know the wonderful joy of being poured out for our presious sisters in the Lord and we end up receiving so much more blessings in return.
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