$100 a Week for 7? I This So.

$100 a week for groceries is hardly anything for the average 4 person North American family let alone a family of 7. It's doable though. We've been on a $60-$100 a week budget for groceries for the last year. $100 would be on the generous side.

So whether your husband's job is downsizing, your saving for something special or you'd just like to try living a little more thrifty, I'm going to share some tips I have come up with, do's and don't's, and techniques to get your grocery budget down. If you don't want to read this whole massive post, I've put in bold the topics of each paragraph. Read what applies to your needs.

The first set of general tips are these:
DO:

• Cook a lot of soup
• Make things in bulk. Any soup or sauces-always make it in the stock pot. Freeze it or eat it several times a week. 
• learn to bake your own bread. Bake 3 loaves at a time to save on energy costs. 
• Make meals that require cut meat, not whole pieces of it. (ie, don't serve chicken breast for dinner. Serve chicken Alfredo instead. I use 2 large chicken breast for 1 meal for 7 eaters. Cut it up small and there's chicken in every bite)
• Reuse rejected parts of your last meal (ie cook chicken for dinner then save all the juice for soup. Or use the leaves of beats in salad)
• Make 1 dish meals. 
• Drink really good juice instead of fresh fruit. But is has to be good juice. Learn how to read a label. We buy V8 Splash and stock up when it's on sale. Each glass counts as 2 servings of fruit and veggies and it is delicious. 
• Find a local farmer and buy eggs in bulk. We buy eggs by the 15 dozen. Its cheaper than other breakfast options. My family will eat 10 eggs all together for breakfast. Our eggs are $1.80 this way. If you are too few to buy 15 doz eggs, do a share at work or with friends. Or prepare omelets (don't cook them) with all your ingredients and freeze them individually. Who doesn't love a nice hot omelet before a busy work day. It's really only possible if it's already prepared. 
• Use online tools to help you make a meal. If you are feeling uncreative and your cupboards are getting bare you can go to  http://allrecipes.com/search/default.aspxms=1&origin=Home%20Page&rt=r&qt=i  pick ingredients you have, and staple items that you don't have. So if you know you don't have any milk or butter left put that in the "I don't want section" and see what recipes come up. I'm going to do an experiment. I'm going to say I have carrots, flour, onions, sour cream and say I don't have milk, butter, or honey and see what happens (I just chose those randomly right now.) ... waiting...Awesome. It came up with potato pancakes and pickle soup. 
• Use what you have in the fridge. Don't let things go bad. Make button soup if something is going to go bad. 

DON'T:

• Buy packaged food. It will cost you way more money. My family would need 1.5 of anything pre-made in a box which will cost about $15 per dinner as opposed to the $6/meal soups you'll see later. 
• Buy things full price. Shop on the half priced veggie shelf (As long as you can freeze or cook that day. There is a reason why they are half off. Because they are almost bad)
• Restrict yourself if you don't have the right item. Try substituting for other things. 
• Mind eating the same thing more than once in a week. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a week. (It's just food. There's no rule saying you have to eat a different meal every night except your pride.) Eat what you have and don't throw things out. 
• Snack-you don't need to. And if you really want a good snack watching TV, make your own popcorn. It's easy and satisfying. And cheap. It about $4 for a bag of kernals which make at least 10 nights worth. If you eat snacks at night it works out to about $.40/night instead of $2/per night for a bag of chips. 

The first thing is you're going to need to learn how to do is cook without a recipe. I'm going to write a few idea's of how to do this but this stage is very experimental. If you've used a lot of recipes in the past you might be scared to venture away from the page but to your benefit you have a huge background of knowledge locked down in your brain waiting to burst out. If you are an open-the-box-and-put-it-in-the-oven type of cooker, this is going to be a little more challenging.

SOUP
Soup is so easy. Always cook soup in bulk. Get a big stock pot and make sure it's full every time you use it. This will save you time and money. Cooking in bulk will always save money because you can buy out all the sale veggies at once and then use them all before they actually go bad.

• See-through soup is typically broth based. Saute onions and any other sauteable veggies before adding liquid. Then add your liquid whether its broth, water or tomato juice. Then add in whatever else you want. 
•  I don't cook enough whole chickens to make my own broth anymore so I buy a natural bullion. It is a bit more expensive but everything else is really bad for you. If you cook whole chicken, save the bones, boil them in a stock pot of water with already sauteed onions and add in carrots and celery for about 3 hrs or until almost half of the liquid is boiled down. It will need lots of salt
• Let's say you want chicken noodle soup. Start with onions (about 5 or 6) and mushrooms (a couple packages). Soften them up. Then add the appropriate amount of broth. I use an entire package of the natural bullion for one batch of soup. (10 squares for $4) Also at this time add in other veggies like potatoes, carrots, celery. Add 4 chicken breast or so to the pot. You can do more if you want. Everything is pretty much done when the chicken is done. Take the chicken out and shred it how ever you'd like. I would suggest cooking the pasta separately and adding it into the soup only when it is cool otherwise your noodles will disintegrate. Use egg noodles for the perfect Chicken noodle soup.  That's it. So this pot of soup which will last us about 4 meals cost me a $3 package of onions, $2 sale mushrooms, $4 broth, $2 carrots, $9 chicken, $2 pasta. Total $22 for 4 meals for family of 7. That's about 20 adult portions of soup for $22. That's $1.10 per bowl (up to the rim and maybe even seconds) of soup. Not Bad. The great thing with a button soup like this is you can get rid of any random assortment of I'm-most-likely-going-to-throw-the-rest-of-that-out veggies into it cutting the cost even lower. 
• Creamy soup can be done two ways. You can either puree everything you just made like in the recipe above (minus the noodles) or you can use a cream base or in our budget cutting case, milk. 
• To make a chowder cream base soup melt some butter in the bottom of the pan. In this case since we're using a ginormous pot use a cup of butter. Then whisk in enough flour that your butter doesn't become dry but is gooey. Probably 1 or 1.5 cups. It should be nice and thick but not like dough at all. More like wet glue. This will act as a thickening agent. Add plenty of milk, probably a whole bag (3 bags really if you're Canadian otherwise a whole jug of milk) and whisk constantly until it starts to thicken. This will take about 10 mins. Once it starts to thicken add whatever you want! How about a whole  bag of corn? Peas? Sauteed onions? Potatoes? You can blend this soup as well if you want to. If you have enough flour in the soup you can add in as much water as you did milk to make it stretch. As long as it stays thick. If you find it really needs more thickness, DO NOT ADD FLOUR DIRECTLY INTO YOUR HOT POT! You'll get disgusting blobs of dough that are impossible to whisk away. Whisk more flour with COLD milk or water and then add it into your soup. You'll be safe then. So this pot of soup probably wont yield as much as the soup above but lets say it will serve 3 meals for my 7 people. That's about 15 adult portions. $2 half a pound of butter, $7 milk, $6 any veggies added. That's $15 and about $1 per bowl. 
• To make a veggie based cream soup like butternut sqash soup (mmmm my favourite, and soooo easy) cook your main ingredient thoroughly. What I do is buy 2 squash. Pay attention to  the shape. You want to get 4 halves in the oven at the same time. If you can get more in, do it. Chop a few onions and place them on your baking tray. Put plenty of blobs of butter over the onions. Then place you halved squash, skin side up onto the onions. If you can try to bunch the onions in piles to fit in the holes of the squash. Bake until you can very easily poke a fork through. Now if your oven is broken like mine is, saute onions and butter in your stock pot then put your large pieced of squash in the pot and put enough broth in to cover the squash. Boil it until you can easily poke a fork through the skin. Then take them out and remove the skin (tip, cool them first :) do the same if you cooked yours in the oven and add the broth. Remember, it's worth more to you to make a full pot of soup BUT here's a tip: never put more liquid than substance in a cream soup. So if you have 12 cups of substance you shouldn't be adding more than 12 cups liquid. Alright back to the soup. Put all the squash meat back into your pot and and use a hand blender to blend it all together until there are no lumps left. If your budget allows for you to get cream you can add a small carton otherwise add some milk. Depending on how much soup you've made, you might add in a 1 liter bag of milk. Maybe less but you don't want to dilute your deliciousness. So Butternut squash soup costs $2 half a bag of onions, about $7 squash, $4 broth, $2 milk. $15 for this pot which makes about 2 meals worth for us with maybe some left overs. So lets say 12 adult portions of soup from this pot. That's $1.25 per bowl of soup. Now with this type of soup you could thicken a portion using the flour, milk method, heat it up, add some substance like shredded carrots, slightly melt in some brie or parm and voila! Pasta sauce. That didn't cost you much. You just made a new meal out of your left overs.

Alright, that's a long post. I think I'm done for now. If anyone would like any specific tips, please leave a comment and I'll dedicate another blog to this topic. 

Good Grief!

I remember hearing this saying often when I was a child. I'm not sure from where; maybe my mother, maybe t.v. I don't know but what truth is in this statement! Jesus tells us the truth in this statement in Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn.

Now if you've been reading my blog you'll notice I'm mentioned the sermon on the mount a couple of times now. I want you to know that I don't only read the sermon on the mount. I love it all. I like referring to the sermon because it is so incredibly black and white, clean cut, clear to read, strait to the point, and right from the mouth of our Saviour while he was here on earth. The whole bible is strait from his mouth mind you (John 1:1) but this part is spoken to us by God the son; man, human being; to us, people, human beings.

Back to my post; Blessed are those who mourn. What a contradictory statement. How can we be blessed in a time of mourning? How can we feel hope and freedom and grace and everything else that comes through the death of Christ when we lose someone we love? How do we loose a child or parent or sister or friend and say to ourselves "Well, God says I'm blessed so this is good." What a hard thing to even consider thinking about.

What if we lead lives that were great, all around. We had good jobs, we didn't loose anyone in our lives except perhaps through old age, you never experience tragedy, you've never been hurt to the inner most part of you, you have a great marriage because you and your spouse agree on everything, you have a nanny for your children so you don't even need to teach or train them and by the time you see them in the evenings they've been prepped to be obedient pleasant little children, you go on holidays, you have a disposable income for special times etc...Would you have lead the ideal life? Not really.

When our 3rd daughter, Ellie, died we were in total mourning. There were months of time off work, months of no cooking as our church, family and friends provided it to us, months of just stopped life. In the moment would I have traded that pain for anything? YES. Now would I? Absolutely not. If we hadn't gone through that raw state of grief we wouldn't know just how great great is. Everything would be on level ground. Happy would feel almost the same as sad. There was no concept of the plain of difference between the two. We would live in a state of grey instead of black and white.

In Romans 5:20 we read that the law in the old testament was put into place so that sin would increase. So that there was a line between black and white. So that when you did wrong you'd know damn well what you did was wrong. But the verse doesn't stop there. We know as Christians that we have died to sin. We have risen again through Christ. Sin's chains no longer hold us down no matter how much it feels that way sometimes. Christ came to break those chains apart. We don't live in the black anymore, we live in the white. The white is grace. Here's the second half of Romans 5:20: But where sin increased, grace abounded all the more. Here's the white. We live in God's grace. The black is there so that the white will abound even more than we could have imagined if there had been no black at all. Verse 21 says: So that as sin reigned in death (BLACK) grace might also reign through righteousness leading to [WHITE:] ETERNAL LIFE :) :) :) through Jesus Christ our Lord. We know good more because of bad. We know happiness more because of sadness, we know joy more because of grief, we know perseverance more because of trials in our live.

Jesus says Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted because you will know a comfort and happiness far surpassing all understanding if you go through hard times such as loosing a loved one; hard times with your spouse; trying times with a rebellious child.

Blessed are you readers, who go through hard times. Persevere through them and come out with a greater understanding and capability of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Against these things there is no black [law]. (Gal 5:22-23)

The "It's not fair" Mentality of a Virtuous Woman

To tell you the truth, the statement in the title contradicts itself. Think of all the situations where you might declare "That's not fair!" Here are some:

• Kids all ran out of the kitchen after breakfast leaving mom to do all of clean up on her own. "That's not fair!"
• Guy speeds past you on the highway so you think you can go a little faster to find 2 mins later your being pulled over by a cop. "That's not fair."
• Your husband finishes work and there's still TONS of laundry to do, he kicks up his heals, puts on the TV while wifey is STILL working into the night..."That's not fair!"
• After 3 days of being up all night with one sick kid preparing yourself for a full nights sleep tonight you find out at 2 in the morning that the next kid is sick...or to make it worse 3 more kids are sick at the same time. "That's not fair."
• You look at another mother trotting around in heals, lipstick and a lovely countenance and think to yourself "Where in the world does she have time to smile let alone put lipstick on?" "That's not fair."

I'm sure you could come up with quite a few more. 

Well, yesterday I had a "That's not fair!" Moment although my pride would probably say otherwise. I never did udder the words "That's not fair." because I think those words are contrary to how we should be living our Christian lives but my attitude sure did say otherwise. 

Last year we attended a wonderful library program. Every week the kids would do a really great craft. Not the kind that you will just toss out or misplace but "gift worthy" crafts. Ones that have either all been given away as gifts or are still hanging around the house. Well this year I signed up the 3 older kids and we happened to miss the first class. I can't remember why. And then last week I completely spaced on it so we didn't make it either. But this week we were all ready to go and getting 6 little girls into a Kia Rondo is quite the task (1 girl is not mine). When we arrived, the librarian, whom is a very lovely lady, looked at me in surprise upon seeing me and told me I hadn't registered the kids and therefor couldn't stay this week so we would have to come next week. Clearly she was ticked off with me for not coming the previous two weeks but who was even more clear about being ticked was myself. And I made it known to all who were present. 

"Well, I thought I had signed them up for the whole summer just like last year." 

"Nope. You have to sign up every week."

"O...K...I'll sign them up for next week then."

The librarian asked me their names. "Jenny, Rainy, Pillar." Then she asked their ages. "9, 6 and 4." Right away the response was "Ah! 4 is too young" followed by a proud strong solid line crossed right through Pillar's name. Oh was I mad now. With eyebrows raised I said as short as I possibly could "OK. We'll be here next week then." No eye contact. Just a statement and off I went.

As the kids gaily dashed to the park to play I steamed my way over. As usual I can count on Jenny to try to boost my spirits when I'm clearly frustrated. She says "don't worry mom, we don't mind playing at the park today instead :)" What a sweet child. That's the kind of attitude Christ expects us to have in times of trial such as the one I was in.

As I sat on the bench contemplating what I was going to say when the craft was over and I had time to talk with the librarian I became more and more humble. First, I was going to wait until it was over to talk to her. Then I changed my mind and decided I would pull her aside during the craft. Then the thought came to mind that all the children and parents saw my "that's not fair" behaviour and therefor they also need to witness my setting things right and bringing glory to God in this situation. I knew what I had to do.

As Jenny watched the kids for a moment I went back into the building.  I apologized for everyone to see. Then I got her explanation. Last week, she was short on supplies and risking being late for the activity, Mme. ran back to her home to fetch just enough supplies for my children just to find out that I wouldn't show up...again. Of course she was short with me. Of course she demanded we sign up every week from now on. Of course her expectation of me had been let down, more than once and all of a sudden this "That's not fair" mindset dissipated. It was one of those moments of instant humility for me.

When is it ever okay to say "That's not fair?" For who? Aren't we living for God? So what does it matter if someone offends us, or if we have a little extra work to do, or if we don't look the way the perfect mom in high heels and lipstick looks. So what? Where is the focus? Have we put to focus on ourselves? Of course we have. And what is it called when the focus ends up anywhere other than God? IDOLATRY. We've made ourselves into little emotional hormonal idols when we pity ourselves because it isn't about God anymore.

Jesus teaches us how to stay away from this form of idolatry. He tells us to lay up treasures in heaven, not on earth. Our earthly things will be destroyed but our treasure in heaven will remain forever. (He's talking about our actions...Godly actions lead to goodly life...before and after death of the flesh) (Matt 6:19) He tells us in Matt 5:43-48 that we are to love those who don't treat us well because it's not up to us to make things fair. It's God's job to make things just. He'll take care of it. We don't need to worry about it. We just do the right thing. Isn't that what we teach our children? I tell my kids all the time "I'm the mom. Don't worry about being one yet. Make friendships with your sisters not rivalries." How about when Jesus tells us to turn the other cheek? When someone hurts you don't hurt them back, just know that God will do his work. (Matt 5:33-37)

Man I love the sermon on the mount. It makes life so clear. We just have to make an effort to meditate on Gods word day and night. (Josh 1:8) That doesn't mean read the Bible AAALLLLL day long. Every mother knows that's not possible but it is possible to remember God's commands AAAALLLLL day long. Remember God does not want us to have the "That's not fair" heart. He'll take care of things.


(Just want to be very clear that I was the one in the wrong in this situation. Some of these verses are specifically regarding people who do evil against you. In this case, it was my sin, not my friend's that caused me to feel "that's not fair".)

The Importance of Music in a Seamingly Lonely life

If you've noticed, it's been quite a long time since I posted to my blog. I have been very busy, I have had another baby in that time, we were in between moves but to be completely honest, these are not the reasons for writing. I have been in the midst of an incredibly lonely time, feeling far from my family in Oregon, feeling far from my relationship with each of my girls, and feeling very far from my Father in Heaven who despite all my pushing away holds fast to me.

It's been about a year and a half of no hope, no joy, no anything. Just going at the routine, day after day with no real purpose in life. I felt like I was inches from hitting the bottom of the sea. Satan had tied me up and was pulling me down. I have a vivid image of this. I was sketching spontaneously as I sometimes do when I don't know what else to do. I came out with the image I just told you about but underneath my struggling body was my Saviour, Jesus bent down on his knees and one arm holding me steady with his other arm. He was keeping me from hitting the bottom.

This is God.

What a season this has been. But I'm back writing. That says something I think. I've got to tell you though, in this season, something that has been really lacking in our lives is music. We started attending a wonderful Church a little while ago; The Russell Reformed Presbyterian Church. The teaching is wonderful! The people are wonderful. The fellowship is wonderful. The music is wonderful, but different. We sing psalms at Church with no instruments or choir or overhead projector. It really is a wonderful thing to experience. We are singing God's word, we are harmonizing our voices and it is beautiful. We don't have to worry about whether what we are singing is true according to God's word and what we are singing is true...always.

I think this is a wonderful way to worship God at Church. And I don't prefer one over the other (music or not) but there is definitely a place for the harp and lyre and tambourine and cymbals and stringed instruments like the Bible also tells us to worship with. This is what has been lacking in our home. We have 2 guitars and 2 pianos. I haven't picked up my guitar for over a year. I haven't put any time into learning to play the piano in a very long time. It's time to start again.

The other day I got out my 3 inch binder full of worship music and went outside to the backyard with the kids and we WORSHIPED. And then we prayed together. My husband has been leading us in family worship again. Right now he's in the other room playing for his family while we make breakfast (I'm setting the timer for 2 mins at a time to write so I don't burn the pancakes on the stove) and it's wonderful!

Today I can say I love the Lord. I love my family. I love my husband who has scooped up his family in need and is leading us in worship to the Lord. I love my Church for caring for us in this loooong season in life. But I want you to know we're on our way out of it and once again there is hope.

If music be the food of love....play on! -Shakespeare.