If you've noticed, it's been quite a long time since I posted to my blog. I have been very busy, I have had another baby in that time, we were in between moves but to be completely honest, these are not the reasons for writing. I have been in the midst of an incredibly lonely time, feeling far from my family in Oregon, feeling far from my relationship with each of my girls, and feeling very far from my Father in Heaven who despite all my pushing away holds fast to me.
It's been about a year and a half of no hope, no joy, no anything. Just going at the routine, day after day with no real purpose in life. I felt like I was inches from hitting the bottom of the sea. Satan had tied me up and was pulling me down. I have a vivid image of this. I was sketching spontaneously as I sometimes do when I don't know what else to do. I came out with the image I just told you about but underneath my struggling body was my Saviour, Jesus bent down on his knees and one arm holding me steady with his other arm. He was keeping me from hitting the bottom.
This is God.
What a season this has been. But I'm back writing. That says something I think. I've got to tell you though, in this season, something that has been really lacking in our lives is music. We started attending a wonderful Church a little while ago; The Russell Reformed Presbyterian Church. The teaching is wonderful! The people are wonderful. The fellowship is wonderful. The music is wonderful, but different. We sing psalms at Church with no instruments or choir or overhead projector. It really is a wonderful thing to experience. We are singing God's word, we are harmonizing our voices and it is beautiful. We don't have to worry about whether what we are singing is true according to God's word and what we are singing is true...always.
I think this is a wonderful way to worship God at Church. And I don't prefer one over the other (music or not) but there is definitely a place for the harp and lyre and tambourine and cymbals and stringed instruments like the Bible also tells us to worship with. This is what has been lacking in our home. We have 2 guitars and 2 pianos. I haven't picked up my guitar for over a year. I haven't put any time into learning to play the piano in a very long time. It's time to start again.
The other day I got out my 3 inch binder full of worship music and went outside to the backyard with the kids and we WORSHIPED. And then we prayed together. My husband has been leading us in family worship again. Right now he's in the other room playing for his family while we make breakfast (I'm setting the timer for 2 mins at a time to write so I don't burn the pancakes on the stove) and it's wonderful!
Today I can say I love the Lord. I love my family. I love my husband who has scooped up his family in need and is leading us in worship to the Lord. I love my Church for caring for us in this loooong season in life. But I want you to know we're on our way out of it and once again there is hope.
If music be the food of love....play on! -Shakespeare.
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