Good Grief!

I remember hearing this saying often when I was a child. I'm not sure from where; maybe my mother, maybe t.v. I don't know but what truth is in this statement! Jesus tells us the truth in this statement in Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn.

Now if you've been reading my blog you'll notice I'm mentioned the sermon on the mount a couple of times now. I want you to know that I don't only read the sermon on the mount. I love it all. I like referring to the sermon because it is so incredibly black and white, clean cut, clear to read, strait to the point, and right from the mouth of our Saviour while he was here on earth. The whole bible is strait from his mouth mind you (John 1:1) but this part is spoken to us by God the son; man, human being; to us, people, human beings.

Back to my post; Blessed are those who mourn. What a contradictory statement. How can we be blessed in a time of mourning? How can we feel hope and freedom and grace and everything else that comes through the death of Christ when we lose someone we love? How do we loose a child or parent or sister or friend and say to ourselves "Well, God says I'm blessed so this is good." What a hard thing to even consider thinking about.

What if we lead lives that were great, all around. We had good jobs, we didn't loose anyone in our lives except perhaps through old age, you never experience tragedy, you've never been hurt to the inner most part of you, you have a great marriage because you and your spouse agree on everything, you have a nanny for your children so you don't even need to teach or train them and by the time you see them in the evenings they've been prepped to be obedient pleasant little children, you go on holidays, you have a disposable income for special times etc...Would you have lead the ideal life? Not really.

When our 3rd daughter, Ellie, died we were in total mourning. There were months of time off work, months of no cooking as our church, family and friends provided it to us, months of just stopped life. In the moment would I have traded that pain for anything? YES. Now would I? Absolutely not. If we hadn't gone through that raw state of grief we wouldn't know just how great great is. Everything would be on level ground. Happy would feel almost the same as sad. There was no concept of the plain of difference between the two. We would live in a state of grey instead of black and white.

In Romans 5:20 we read that the law in the old testament was put into place so that sin would increase. So that there was a line between black and white. So that when you did wrong you'd know damn well what you did was wrong. But the verse doesn't stop there. We know as Christians that we have died to sin. We have risen again through Christ. Sin's chains no longer hold us down no matter how much it feels that way sometimes. Christ came to break those chains apart. We don't live in the black anymore, we live in the white. The white is grace. Here's the second half of Romans 5:20: But where sin increased, grace abounded all the more. Here's the white. We live in God's grace. The black is there so that the white will abound even more than we could have imagined if there had been no black at all. Verse 21 says: So that as sin reigned in death (BLACK) grace might also reign through righteousness leading to [WHITE:] ETERNAL LIFE :) :) :) through Jesus Christ our Lord. We know good more because of bad. We know happiness more because of sadness, we know joy more because of grief, we know perseverance more because of trials in our live.

Jesus says Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted because you will know a comfort and happiness far surpassing all understanding if you go through hard times such as loosing a loved one; hard times with your spouse; trying times with a rebellious child.

Blessed are you readers, who go through hard times. Persevere through them and come out with a greater understanding and capability of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Against these things there is no black [law]. (Gal 5:22-23)

The Importance of Music in a Seamingly Lonely life

If you've noticed, it's been quite a long time since I posted to my blog. I have been very busy, I have had another baby in that time, we were in between moves but to be completely honest, these are not the reasons for writing. I have been in the midst of an incredibly lonely time, feeling far from my family in Oregon, feeling far from my relationship with each of my girls, and feeling very far from my Father in Heaven who despite all my pushing away holds fast to me.

It's been about a year and a half of no hope, no joy, no anything. Just going at the routine, day after day with no real purpose in life. I felt like I was inches from hitting the bottom of the sea. Satan had tied me up and was pulling me down. I have a vivid image of this. I was sketching spontaneously as I sometimes do when I don't know what else to do. I came out with the image I just told you about but underneath my struggling body was my Saviour, Jesus bent down on his knees and one arm holding me steady with his other arm. He was keeping me from hitting the bottom.

This is God.

What a season this has been. But I'm back writing. That says something I think. I've got to tell you though, in this season, something that has been really lacking in our lives is music. We started attending a wonderful Church a little while ago; The Russell Reformed Presbyterian Church. The teaching is wonderful! The people are wonderful. The fellowship is wonderful. The music is wonderful, but different. We sing psalms at Church with no instruments or choir or overhead projector. It really is a wonderful thing to experience. We are singing God's word, we are harmonizing our voices and it is beautiful. We don't have to worry about whether what we are singing is true according to God's word and what we are singing is true...always.

I think this is a wonderful way to worship God at Church. And I don't prefer one over the other (music or not) but there is definitely a place for the harp and lyre and tambourine and cymbals and stringed instruments like the Bible also tells us to worship with. This is what has been lacking in our home. We have 2 guitars and 2 pianos. I haven't picked up my guitar for over a year. I haven't put any time into learning to play the piano in a very long time. It's time to start again.

The other day I got out my 3 inch binder full of worship music and went outside to the backyard with the kids and we WORSHIPED. And then we prayed together. My husband has been leading us in family worship again. Right now he's in the other room playing for his family while we make breakfast (I'm setting the timer for 2 mins at a time to write so I don't burn the pancakes on the stove) and it's wonderful!

Today I can say I love the Lord. I love my family. I love my husband who has scooped up his family in need and is leading us in worship to the Lord. I love my Church for caring for us in this loooong season in life. But I want you to know we're on our way out of it and once again there is hope.

If music be the food of love....play on! -Shakespeare.